Well where do I begin. Okay. I wipe the bile off my tastebuds as I let this offseason start to sink in. Not since the last time I listened to Tommy Fatsorda on the Jim Rome Show has my nether regions felt as shaky after eating a bowl of Bran Flakes as a Giants 3-2 lead with bases loaded and Armando Blonitez melting down in front of my eyes. What are the Giants doing? Affeldt.....nice. Good pitcher. Howry....hmmmm, okay, not bad. Renteria......wha?!....hmmmm......uh, I guess. Now theres rumblings of Jorge Cantu, E5 Encarnacion or the ever-pending Joe Crede acquisition. To which I say.....W-T-F! What happened to the youth movement? The Giants earned at least one more year of good will/rebuilding. I say let Ishikawa stay in. Leave Pablo at third! Lets see how Frandsen bounces back. Seriously. It may be the Flexerall talking but I was more interested in seeing these guys play a full season along with Nate and Orty. It was our chance to relive those early 80's Giants of bringing up the home grown kids and let'em play. I know they may be a Nuschler short of anything serious but having seen these guys play almost daily at Fresno, let me say they CAN play! It's like watching Celebrity Rehab when it comes to the Giants. You know that THEY know they have to take their lumps. Endure a cold sweat or two. Melt down and scream at your bunk mates when they change MTV Cribs just as you were about to glimpse into the kingdom of Lil' Wayne. Damn Dr. Phil! Your Jeff Conaway and no amount of reason will stop you from doing whatever you need to do to get that next fix. Thats what Brian Sabean must be feeling right about now. Having seen the A's steal Holliday must really curdle Sabe's cream. Right now Sabean is weighing that Jorge Cantu for Sanchez/Alderson/Britney Spears tix. IT HAS TO BE. Otherwise why the hell are we even talking about signing E5, Cantu, Crede or any other player who will NOT be that game changer the Gigantes are looking for. Look at the lineup the Giants currently may field:

Lewis, Rowand and Winn in the outfield.
Ishikawa, Burriss, Renteria and Sandoval in the infield.
Molina behind the dish.

True, there isn't enough power to charge Rosie's microwave but other than Man-Ram, who out there can? This lineup is very intriguing but here is where the Giants will win games:

Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, JONATHAN SANCHEZ, Barry Zito and Noah Lowry.

That was what kept us in games last year and with Affeldt and Howry in the pen and more importantly, Tyler Walker NOT in there, the Giants should be able to hold a lead or two. So how can the Giants improve? Three words: C.C. Sabathia.
A rotation of C.C., Timmy, Cain, SANCHEZ, and your mom. WHO IS DAY GONNA SCORE ON? Your momma, obviously. But the good news is she won't give it up more than Zito, right? So let's just assume Lowry can't beat out Zito, I would be willing to put up some gub-ment bailout money that his niche will be out of the bullpen. You know eventually Baumgardner, Bumgartner, whatever, or Alderson may show up sometime to see where they are at. Heck, Merkin may slip in there. My point is, when you KNOW your strength is pitching, well then......wait, I have an analogy. When I was a lad with less than a care in the world, I mastered one of the most complex video games ever brought forth from the gods of Olympus. Atari Football. The short field. Grainy colors. Limited offensive plays. How did I do this you wonder? Well I mastered the off-tackle sweep. Try with all his might my brother could do nothing to stop it. He knew it was coming but he was as helpless as John Daly in Hooters. So why deplete your strength for some more of what we've had....older vets to fill holes. Wasn't this the rebuilding era? Stick with the blueprint Sabes. If your going to go after anyone throw some cache at C.C. and see if a little hometown cooking is enough to bring him home but stay the course man. Don't give in now! You managed to avoid Furcal. Averted your eyes of Man-Ram. Relapsed a little with Rent-a-ria. Don't go McCain in the membrane just yet (yes she may look real nice, but once she start yappin' bout those darn media folk.....). Now is the right time for rebuilding. The Niners are having a hard time keeping their pants up, the A's are basically you guys in lame colors, the Warriors...are they still here? That just leaves the Raiders.

Okay. I've stopped laughing. Commitment to Excrement aside, my point is the Bay Area is in a rebuilding era so take advantage of it. No need to feel pressured to do anything erratic just yet. Remember, at the beginning of last season your farm system was the laughing stock of MLB but by the end of the season managed to be described as vastly improved and WHAT did you do differently? What that means was nobody bothered to really look at what we really had in our system. What we had were some decent players who may not possess the god given gifts of one Barry Lamarr Bonds, but were gutty and scrappy. Teams have won pennants that were scrappy.

boston sucks

detoxify